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Tiger’s Furious Over Census

Tiger Census

With the Indian and Bangladeshi governments committing to a census of tigers in their respective countries, a spokestiger for the soon to be counted, verbally backlashes those involved.  In a hastily drawn up news conference the spokestiger, a huge cat called Tim, asked the press to voice concern over what is being referred to as ‘a gross invasion of tiger privacy’.

When quizzed for more information, the tigers agent, a dwarf called Berty gave a press release and closed the conference quickly when Indian officials quizzed him on a large water pipe burst outside the Taj Mahal.

(recently the dwarf Berty had been involved in the failed attempt to dig the world’s deepest well, giving up when his co-worker, a dog called Ralphy actually filled in the hole and ended up making a mound…strangely, the world’s largest.  Fortunately the mound was washed away.  Unfortunately this was due to a huge water pipe bursting… which was probably due to the dwarfs use of elven explosives in an area with a huge water pipe.  The subsequent mess has since been cleared at huge expense by the Indian Tourist office).

Taj Flood

The press release given by Berty, stated the tigers, his clients, did not like the big brother attitude of the respective goverments and they were worried that it would lead to increased border taxes due to their frequent migration.  They were also worried that privacy laws were being broken and questioned why the lions of Africa, or the tigers of Siberia were not being similarly quizzed.

As the spokestiger ran from the room after his fleeing agent, he shouted out to the reporters, ‘why are we being ridiculed by the hyenas?’.

In an undercover operation, a taped conversation with one of the hyenas, at an undisclosed drinking hole in Mozambique, the spokesman for the Hyenas was recorded saying that…

‘it’s about time the big dumb cats got what was due, after all the bad press we received from the Lion King.

(The Hyena talking about the acting role they’d had in the Disney Hit, The Lion King, a media disaster for them.)

The Hyena then went on to state…

‘The census will show the world that they’re (the tigers) eating to much, transporting undisclosed amounts of meat back and forth across the borders and that most of them are travelling on holiday visas, and not work permits.  I also think they’re the ones responsible for the horsemeat in the burgers incident…they provided the raw meat!’

What is clear to this reporter is that there is more to this story than first meets the eye.  Sign up to receive updates as the story progresses!